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notes / summer so far
A few weeks ago, Metallica played at the big stadium in my neighborhood. The day after, I was walking past the stadium on my way to the pool (the pool is right behind it). The roadies were already busy cleaning up everything; there were lots of trucks and equipment and people bustling around. But for some reason, right in front of the stadium, in the parking lot, ten forklifts were driving in a wide circle, like they were having some sort of rally. I stopped and watched for a while, trying to figure out what the purpose of this was. They kept going and going, none of the drivers making any noise, nobody playing any music, just following each other around and around. Eventually they stopped and all parked the forklifts in a line. I deduced that they must have been doing this just for fun.
A man that I had 100% never seen before came into my cafe while I was working. He proceeded to order in Italian, then said to me, in English: “Every time I see you, you look awesome.”
Been really chaotic with my Finglish lately. Ten pm, like clockwork, is my Treat Hour. Sometimes my treat is a chocolate waffle from Lidl. I’ve started calling this moment in my day: ‘Vohveli O’clockoli’. Additionally, mental health days have now become ‘manteli health days.’
In Hesperianpuisto, there are covered metal trash bins. At this one specific trash bin, literally at any time of day, in any weather, there is a man going absolutely nuts, drumming on its lid with a pair of severed branches. Everyone gives him a wide berth. However, at such an unpredictable time in history I think we all appreciate the consistency. He is an established part of the neighborhood just as much as the too-clean Subway with the lowkey evil vibes.
8 pm is the best time to go for a walk in the summer. There’s wild chamomile growing everywhere right now, and when the golden light hits, the flowers fill the air with clouds of soft smell.
I went to Kiasma to see the newest modern art installation. Based on the entrance plaque, it was about the duality of mind and body, and the knowledge that passes between. I nodded to myself - I fuck w that. When I went inside, there were three giant screens on the wall, and the floor was covered in a truly awful pink velvet carpet that reminded me of a tongue. There were big fleshy-looking growths popping out of the carpet. I sat on one. Hanging from the ceiling was a gigantic used bandaid. The film began. What followed was a story about a plumber who went into a house and was greeted with an experimental (for sure improvised) song about lemons. Felt like when people make fun of spoken word, but like, x1000. Spliced into this narrative was green screen footage of a person wearing a giant used bandaid, walking around the house, made to look microscopic. I watched for way too long, feeling progressively angrier, waiting to see how it would all tie together. Spoiler! It did not! I went to the next room in the exhibit. There was another screen; fuming, I ignored it. Then I was ‘invited to travel through the main character’s lower intestine.’ Pained, I ducked into a hallway created to look like - you guessed it - a velvety lower intestine, complete with polyps. On the other side was a gallery of abstract paintings inspired by the human bowels. I left the museum feeling like I had been ripped off, even though admission was free. The whole time I had been there I was engaged in a fierce inward battle with myself, knowing that if the exhibit was making me feel an emotion, any emotion, it was accomplishing something. I countered this with equal ferocity. I’M NOT ANGRY BECAUSE THE ART IS INVOKING AN EMOTION I’M ANGRY BECAUSE THIS EXHIBIT IS CLEARLY TAKING ITSELF TOO SERIOUSLY AND THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH BETTER EXHIBITS TO FEATURE IN SUCH AN IMPORTANT MUSEUM.
A lot of the baby geese are teenagers now, and there is so much drama. I find it comforting that every species seems to have an awkward phase.
Found a stupidly large crochet blanket at Uff for 5 euros. Despite the thread being very thin, it is SO heavy. Probably because it is, as I mentioned, stupidly large. I used to not buy crochet things out of a weird sense of pride (“I could make that myself, so why would I buy it??”). But I’ve grown out of that. Just because I COULD make it, I WOULDN’T make it. I think that applies to a lot of art, but NOT the lemon film or the velvety intestine.
Speaking of things I’ve grown out of, I used to dislike strawberry jam, but now I…think I like it. I also watched my first Tarantino film this week, after a years-long, rather exhausting bit where I insisted that, even though I went to film school, I had never and would never watch a Tarantino film. Anyway, the film was The Hateful Eight. It was alright. At this moment, I still have no desire to see Pulp Fiction, even though I went to UC Santa Cruz and I know that the t-shirt is a whole thing.
I am still apathetic about Letterboxd.
Speaking of exhausting bits, I had a dream that I was locked into this ongoing bit with some guy where we would throw rocks at each other. At first it was funny, and then not so funny. He got tired of the bit, and told me to stop throwing rocks at him. I knew that this was the pivotal moment in the bit where I actually had to buckle down and commit so intensely that it eventually circled around to being funny again. This was my bit-philosophy for most of my teens and early 20’s, to the detriment of literally everyone around me. Anyway. He got so enraged that he tried to kill me, but I survived, and things were really awkward between us afterward. I take my dreams very seriously. Clearly this was a parable.
Went to a very chill meetup for film industry professionals, which was funny because I’ve all but abandoned my film career. I was the only American there. The group asked me where I was from, and I said California. One guy from Nigeria responded with - “Why is it that Americans always say the state they’re from, and not that they’re from the U.S.? Like, am I really supposed to know what ‘Ohio’ is??” I had never thought about it like that. I might get different responses from Europeans if I answered with something like “I’m from Delaware.” Universally people seem to know what California is, but that’s for sure not the case for the rest of the states.
Finished reading Either/Or. Sad that it is over :( Also read Enter Ghost and it completely blew my mind.
Went to Hietsu to swim in the ocean. As I was setting up my towel I saw a seagull float straight down to land on the sand. Literally, straight down, smoothly, no flapping. I had never seen something like that before. Witnessing this inspired in me a feeling of mortal dread. After my swim I tucked into Ariel by Sylvia Plath, which wasn’t exactly comforting.
How’s your summer been so far? What are you reading? What kind of art is on your mind?
xx Sidney